Why Queer?

In my last post, I explored the understanding of all people as image bearers of God. I think this is a crucial belief for Christians. If we strip others, especially others we disagree with, of this image-bearing quality, then we disregard the design and work of God in their lives and beings. I also noted that a holistic understanding of an individual is vital. Valuing someone for all of who they are helps us avoid confining them and their identity to their LGBTQ status.

But there is something to saying I am queer. Though it’s not all of who I am, it is a part of who I am; when I say I am queer I am saying something about myself. So what do I mean when I say I am queer?

You may also be wondering why I choose the word queer, rather than same-sex attracted (SSA), homosexual, or struggling with SSA? While I could go into a Biblical and linguistic hermeneutic to explain why I think it’s appropriate and helpful to use language such as gay or queer, such discussions are not new territory. Many thoughtful pieces have been written on the subject. Check out Spiritual Friendship (shared blog space with posts by many authors) and this list of posts on labels and on identity; A Queer Calling and their posts about An Ungodly Identity, the Language Police, Alphabet Soup, and Don’t Say Gay; Julie Rodgers’ blog and her post Can the Gay be a Good; and the blogs of Eve Tushnet and Melinda Selmys who have both written on the subject as well.

Since so much other work already exists, and at this point in time I would not be adding to the conversation, only repeating arguments of others, I would rather give you a brief explanation of why I personally prefer the term queer.

In the past queer has been used against LGBTQ individuals as a derogative slur (and can still function as one today). A quick look up on dictionary.com will define queer as “strange or odd … unusually different.” But some LGBTQ individuals are reclaiming and redeeming the word queer. We are in essence saying, yes, we are different, there is something about how we experience our sexuality or gender that may be a bit odd, but that does not have to be a bad thing. We can be happy in our uniqueness and we can claim it without being shamed by our strangeness. As a Christian, I find this concept quite beautiful. The fact that I know God is about redemption, that all things are being redeemed, and that God does not always work in conventional ways gives me a special appreciation for the parts of myself that are odd. I enjoy actively reclaiming what some would see as negative in my life; to me being queer is not a bad thing.

Further the word queer offers a term for those who find their sexuality or gender hard to articulate and difficult to categorize. I find I prefer queer because I am one of those people who doesn’t fall neatly in the lines. My experience of gender is fuzzy, at best. I have neither a strong connection to femininity nor masculinity. I tend to feel most comfortable when my expression is more androgynous, though I have some days when I feel more connected to my body and some days when I feel very disconnected and confused about my body. Then, when it comes to sexuality, which is usually defined based on one’s gender, my starting place is already a bit skewed, since my gender experience is blurry. Further, when I experience attraction it is to individuals of the opposite sex, but the attraction is almost entirely romantic, not sexual. In fact, the concept of sex is something very close to horrifying in my mind. Body fluids are disgusting. No part of me wants to touch someone else or be touched in that way. I am on the asexuality spectrum. I am not, however, aromantic. I do experience romantic attractions and when I do, I usually feel like I would just like to hold someone’s hand forever, like I want to tell them everything about myself, and learn everything about them. Most of the time when I talk about my sexuality and/or gender it is neither necessary nor helpful to try to explain all that.

Using the word queer allows me to say something about how I experience the world without trying to articulate the intricate complications of my experiences.

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